Virginia

The church service today was moving. Mrs. Jones gave me kleenex for a good reason...haha. Along with pastor Dale's sermon on being involved with kids' lives, there was a skit that Erica and some students did and it was bothersome. Bothersome in a way that I really wanted Erica's "attackers" - money, drinking, boys, good looks, and suicide - to just quit keeping her from experiencing the love she first found in Jesus Christ.
Oh man, did it resonate with my heart when Jesus (dressed in a white robe with a purple sash) came to her rescue, standing between all of the grasping attackers and her. That act brought light and joy...a huge smile...to her face! I wish I could say I knew exactly what happened after that, but I was overwhelmed enough by the saving act to take the kleenex out and only see that she got to walk off the stage with Jesus.
I had a hard time not crying this morning at church because it was my last service there for who-knows-how-long and lots of "little" worries kept popping up about family, moving, friends, and my future relationship with God and others.
I'm graduated, though! I don't think it will feel official until I get my actual diploma...I think it comes in the mail but I don't know. I drove home today, realizing it would be a while before I have to make that trip ever again. No more dorm room! An apartment with a kitchen sounds good! Yes, I know I have to clean the kitchen, but that will be worth not having to limit myself to the same microwaveable ingredients and I'll be able to cook things for people. More than likely bake things.
I cried easily today because I was thinking about all of the changes I'll be encountering and so many things that I have set aside in my mind due to my desire to finish classes well. Now it's different and I'm in an unknown area of life when it comes to living without being graded. No wonder, I was in graded-living for 16 years or so. It's exciting, but it will be a challenge for me. I feel like I am unprepared for a lot of things:

• My doctor's appointments this week. Hearing and otherwise. I won't be surprised if I have waited too long to get help with my hearing aids. I really don't understand why I don't use my hearing aids like I should and like I know would benefit me. I think it's because sometimes they help, sometimes they don't, but mostly because I think of the soreness they cause the inside of my ears. I could probably get used to that, I suppose. I need to suck up my pride and go talk to my audiologist.
  
• My trip to Germany (I get to live with two girls and their family for 10 days starting May 17th!). I don't have things planned out specifically, and I don't know how much to plan out and how much I should just let go and fly by the seat of my pants while I'm there.
  
• My trip to Arkansas with my family at the beginning of June. I would love to get to know my family better during this time, to take advantage of it.
  
• And last but not least, my trip up to Virginia. I need to get paperwork filled out and therefore a date set for the exact day I am leaving Carlsbad. Also, I can make the trip up there by myself, but I think it would be fun to have someone come with me. That person is an unknown right now, but I can't expect whoever it is to randomly ask me if I would like company...I probably need to ask others if they have a few days off in the middle of June.

One more thing. It is hard for me to read the Bible when I want to. I don't understand why, but I don't have to. There is so much wealth and goodness in the Word, but I hesitate so often to read it, based on not knowing if I will interpret what I read correctly. But that's where the Holy Spirit helps, no? I would like to ask Him just to help me see and understand the truth in what I read, as well as incorporate it into my life, no matter how long it takes. The Bible is sweet to me, but better than sugar because it doesn't leave my teeth with a gritty-feeling. It's after-effects on my mind and my life are good, unlike the after-taste of chocolate or food. I want it, so I would like to take much more of it in and trust God to help me hear and believe the truth in it!